10 things an aunt didn't know this time last year

Following on from my recollection of the things learnt in the past 12 months Thomasina's wonderful aunt who has been such an amazing support to us constructed her own list, so special to read about Thommy's impact on Flis, a journey where her professional life had to merge all to much with her personal. Thank you Felicity Bridget Thomasina for all you did and these wonderful memories




1. It doesn't matter what your role is, in the eyes of a 3 & 7 year old you are nothing compared to Captain Starlight.

2. That it's impossible to work out a good answer to the question "how is your sister & her family doing?" Any response seems glib.

3. How impossible it is to put into words my admiration for parents who managed to let their daughter experience so much of life and made sure her brothers were part of every step of the journey. Understandably it isn't something all parents of a seriously ill child manage to achieve but, somehow, Ree & Pete did.

4. How amazing so many people are. How crap some people are.

5. How much I loathe descriptions along the lines of "they battled illness" and "their extraordinary will to live". Don't imply that some seriously ill people could have lived if they had more willpower or a different attitude. It's simply not true.

6. That shopping for clothes for little girls is one of the best things in the world.

7. That creating imaginary back stories for the many people you meet in hospital keeps you amused for hours.

8. That a phone ringing and three words "Thomasina has died" can still play on an endless loop in your mind.

9. That the most sensitive people, even during the hardest of moments, would be two 3 & 7 year old boys. Time and time again knowing the right thing to say and the perfect gesture to make.

10. That in 7 months a person can positively change your life, the certainty you have that they will always be a part of you and that you can miss them so much it literally hurts.